Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
