So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
