pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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