I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
