i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
