im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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