He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
