so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
