Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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