I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
