just come out here and I will go home with you...
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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