We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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