Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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