i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
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