My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
