It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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