these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
