just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
