We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.