Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.

  (661): View more from California

  Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.

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  (480): I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED. (661): Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand. http://tfl.nu/omij
  Replies (16) Good night (3740) Bad night (764)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.

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  (864): he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs. http://tfl.nu/m2cw
  Replies (10) Good night (5111) Bad night (702)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.

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  (678): I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI. http://tfl.nu/868g
  Replies (27) Good night (7492) Bad night (1525)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...

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  (802): he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes... http://tfl.nu/9zzk
  Replies (70) Good night (1363) Bad night (11483)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.

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  (509): I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job. http://tfl.nu/4wpv
  Replies (10) Good night (3699) Bad night (913)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.

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  (612): Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us. http://tfl.nu/wdqz
  Replies (5) Good night (4483) Bad night (1182)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.

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  (484): I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations. http://tfl.nu/uf69
  Replies (7) Good night (3335) Bad night (891)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS

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  (603): ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS http://tfl.nu/rbdc
  Replies (12) Good night (1939) Bad night (975)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.

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  (847): He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris. http://tfl.nu/t2sy
  Replies (5) Good night (1150) Bad night (993)
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  (661): View more from California

  i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance

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  (661): i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance http://tfl.nu/ezzs
  Replies (4) Good night (880) Bad night (580)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights

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  (503): Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights http://tfl.nu/jcw5
  Replies (3) Good night (924) Bad night (565)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me

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  (814): the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me http://tfl.nu/xcf9
  Replies (13) Good night (1524) Bad night (602)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.

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  (513): Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants. http://tfl.nu/xbb5
  Replies (1) Good night (1410) Bad night (443)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.

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  (727): Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning. http://tfl.nu/1b4x
  Replies (4) Good night (699) Bad night (324)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you

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  (586): I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you http://tfl.nu/74zy
  Replies (1) Good night (294) Bad night (423)

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