Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.