Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
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