You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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