Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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