I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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