My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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