i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I enjoy the company of your penis
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
