Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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