So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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