So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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