butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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