Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
