i don't like sucking hair
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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