She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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