Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
