I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I have demons in me.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
