What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
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He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
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you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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