It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
