Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
