hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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