I look better un-naked...
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
