Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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