So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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