i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize