Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize