I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
