i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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