loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
