You smell like stripper and shame
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
