do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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