we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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