I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
