***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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