obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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