this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
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I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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