you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
