my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
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How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize