Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
