I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
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so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
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Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
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