I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
