Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
