Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
