PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
