shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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