Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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