is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
